Yeah, here's the Senate's first draft "cybersecurity" bill.

First, who wrote it? Jay Rockefeller and Olympia Snowe. Two people whose greatest previous digital achievements have probably been finding the "Reply All" button and forwarding e-mail hoaxes without the obstruction of checking Snopes first. You know, if the Democrats had the balls to make the Republicans filibuster health care reform, the Senate wouldn't be able to introduce this shit. So instead, we get a bill which will:

• Significantly raise the priority of cybersecurity throughout the federal government and streamline cybersecurity-related government functions, authorities and laws.

In other words, it will do nothing to kill the apathy and turf wars that currently obstruct computer investigations. Much like the creation of DHS and the national intelligence czar did for antiterror work.

• Protect civil liberties, intellectual property and business proprietary information.

Logging all sorts of information about your identity and activities will now be legally mandated on your service provider. It will be protected from intrusion, except by cops (who won't need warrants--that only helps the terrorists!) and civil discovery (it's just lying there anyways, so why not!) Also black-hat hackers who are good at covering their tracks, who wouldn't be investigated anyways because violations of your privacy are not a federal priority.

• Promote cybersecurity public awareness, education, and research and development.

PSAs and other government propaganda that will make Hackers look like a documentary.

• Foster market-driven cybersecurity innovation and creativity to develop long-term technology solutions and train the next generation of cybersecurity professionals.

Oh, where do I begin on how corporations will be encouraged to fuck us...