Dave Calzaretta and I got into a fight in 5th grade math class. While we'd been verbally sniping each other all day, I essentially started it by throwing an eraser at him, which unintentionally hit him in the eye. That cost us an afternoon in the office and the word "fighting" written a thousand times each. Nowadays they'd just expel us and charge us as adults with assault and battery. Years later as basketball teammates, we heckled the lone tall white guy at the end of Evanston's bench, who Dave insists looked like a drug dealer. "Send in the deeeeeaaaalerrrrr!"
In this modern era, Dave fronts a Chicago cover band called "Maggie Speaks". (Undoubtedly a Simpsons reference.)