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 jlindquist | |
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It'll take a few weeks to conclusively determine whether alcohol was involved in yesterday morning's crash, but I'll be flattened if it ain't. Drunk or not, if you flip your car, and if some or all of your passengers aren't wearing seat belts, you're doing it wrong. The deceased, Charles Amaro, is an '06 RB grad. The driver is '07 RB grad and running back Richard Caldwell. According to the papers, the girls in the car with them are current RB students. However, that neighborhood is deep in Poway's attendance area, so whoever they were hanging out with before the crash is probably one/some of our people. (There was a rumor going around our baseball game last night that the driver deceased was already facing a fatality DUI charge from an earlier crash, but I can't find anything online to corroborate that. [Edit 4/14/08 8:20am] Rumor corrected and confirmed: The deceased in this case was the cause of the first crash. He grabbed the wheel and caused the car to flip.) Either way, not a lot of sympathy here. I was annoyed last night to hear our lacrosse announcer call for a moment of silence before their game started over in the football stadium. If you get behind the wheel drunk, you're an ass. If you get in the car with such a driver, you're an ass. If you drive down that road (and it's a wide road with clear visibility) fast enough, and badly enough, even sober, to flip your car, you're an ass. [Edit 6:15pm: I'm making exceptions to my usual policy of not unscreening unsigned anonymous comments. Why? Because I feel like abusing ignorant fucks. Because their willful ignorance begets more of the same. Someone ought to beat some sense into them, so why should I pass up the opportunity if they present it? :-) ] Current Mood:  annoyed
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Wrong.
Absent some completely unforseeable obstacle or misbehavior on someone else's part, flipping a car is not a mistake. It is piss-poor judgement. It is at best negligence. If not, it's recklessness. Recklessness with a 2-ton chunk of metal stands a good chance of getting someone seriously injured or killed.
Gee, look what happened.
So yes, I'm calling someone who is in a coma an ass. Yes, it sucks for him. Yes, it sucks for his family and friends. But yes, it is almost certain that he wouldn't be there, and his friend wouldn't be in the morgue, if not for the driver's bad judgement. He chose not to be cautious. Look where it got him.
If you are drunk, you do not drive. If you are fatigued, you do not drive. If your drunken friends are goofing off in the car and it threatens your ability to drive safely, you pull the fuck over and wait until they calm down and buckle up. Wait all night if neccessary. To choose otherwise is to risk exactly these consequences.
If anyone needs to grow up, it's people making excuses for their friends' criminally stupid behavior by calling them "mistakes" and "a shame".
"Adversarial situation"? Bitch, please... like some boogeyman released their seat belts...
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| From: (Anonymous) |
Date:
April 12th, 2008 05:28 pm (UTC)
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I think you are displaying a huge sign of disrespect for the people and families involved in the accident by calling them an ass. Yes, I will be the first to admitt that anyone who drives or gets into a vehicle with a person who is under the influence needs a huge reality check. And, unfortunately something like this is the only way that will happen. I am sure you yourself can think back to a time where you had made a choice that was way beyond stupid, I know I have. And you know what, we have been the lucky ones to come out of it unscathed. I am making no excuses for these people, and I can understand the feeling you have towards this event. If you are making yourself out to be so high and mighty then I expect you to follow your high standard of responsibility and less ignorant ways and show a little respect.
Due to the fact that I am the brother of one of the girls involved in the accident, I would surely like to knock some sense into my sister and every single one of the people involved. But, horrible things happen every day, some we are not even aware of, and I am thankful that she is alive.
So, if you would like to bet some sense into this ingnorant fuck, I will be in town Tuesday and Wednesday.
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I think you are displaying a huge sign of disrespect for the people and families involved in the accident by calling them an ass.
You want respect, you behave in a manner that merits respect. Every time this happens, all we get is an outpouring of excuses. You may not make them, but amongst the vocal, you're the exception. "What a terrible accident!" It's nobody's fault, it's just an unfortunate happenstance! Whether it's a driver falling asleep at the wheel, or drunk. Whether they're speeding up winding roads because they're pissed off, or overwhelmed with excitement. Whether the front passenger gives the driver a wet willy, and other two passengers are sitting atop the back seat of the convertible, parade-style, so there's nothing to restrain them from being thrown from the car when the driver loses control and hits a telephone pole.
It's never anybody's fault, it's just lamentable misfortune. (Don't get me started on the crowd that calls it "God's plan"...) There's no social penalty for poor judgement on this scale. Nobody's going to learn from it when the response to "See what happens when you act like that?" is "Oh that just happened." This community in particular loves to play that game. I'm tired of it, and I'm not going to participate in it.
We've had more than enough reality checks. Chrissakes, we get them here at a rate of about two a year.
I am sure you yourself can think back to a time where you had made a choice that was way beyond stupid,
Yes, but never when the stakes are this high. The two occassions I've fit that bill, the only person at risk was me. If I didn't clearly understand my responsibility around other people, I would've never been given the keys.
I get it. So I get to sit on the high horse. Responsibility means I do the right thing. And if I don't, I admit that I'm the fuck-up, and I deal with the consequences. So yeah, I get to expect the same from others, in scenarios where my well-being could be at risk. There's a saying, "I've upped my standards, now up yours."
You want respect shown to the families? Pay attention to the venue. Are we in a church at somebody's memorial service? Are we at your family's house? Are we at the crash site, which a) has turned into a memorial where friends are gathered to grieve and 2: I will drive by hundreds of times in the coming months, given how many friends I have in that neighborhood? Are these the pages of any of the three local papers?
No. None of those places is the right forum. In all of those places, these sentiments in this tone would be attacks, and so far out of line as to be beyond the pale.
If there is any place in the world I am entitled to bitch as I please in outrage at other people's poor judgement, and my community's inexcusably poor reaction to it, it is on the pages of my own journal.
It's fantastic that your sister survived this. And even better that there's at least one person in her life who's going to make damned sure she learns the lesson she failed to learn in the first place. If you look around us, there is not near enough of that here.
Edited at 2008-04-12 06:27 pm (UTC)
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Responsibility means I do the right thing. And if I don't, I admit that I'm the fuck-up, and I deal with the consequences. So yeah, I get to expect the same from others, in scenarios where my well-being could be at risk. There's a saying, "I've upped my standards, now up yours."
[sarcasm start]
You heartless bastard! How dare you expect people, especially teens, to find any lesson here or take responsibility for their choices - or to make REASONABLY RESPONSIBLE choices in the first place! How could you?! You should be flogged in the town square with a large wet, wide egg noodle!
[end sarcasm]
Come on guys, these kids made a choice... a really stupid one. Natural law of choices and consequences. Let's not mitigate it and say 'Oohh, its ok...' to make them feel better about this. Its not ok. Its not 'just an accident' - its not 'unfortunate.'
Define Accident: Something which happens that could not have been avoided.
Example: Toddler bangs head into table while learning to walk and shakes table and glass of milk on table spills - THIS is an accident.
Counter Example: See the original post - NOT an accident. Why? It could have been avoided as evidenced by the number of people - adults and teens alike - who drive down that same stretch of road every single day and do not have an accident. I am absolutely sure that if a crash like this happened every time someone drove down this stretch of road because it was truly *THAT* unsafe, the city/county/state whatever would do something about it. So, as far as I am concerned this has to be chalked up to kids making stupid choices.
This is an 'on purpose,' plain and simple. Its an 'on purpose' because they chose to be irresponsible. If you make a clear choice like that irrespective of all of the education you've been given in driver's ed, (or do they not tell the kids any more 'pay 100% attention to the road, no cell phones, radios, horsing around, etc' anymore?!) or (if there was alcohol involved) with the "just say no" campaigns, the drinking and driving campaigns and the media blitzes about "drinking responsibly/designate a driver" you are a dumbass and its not an accident. These are kids who are adults/young adults - they need to start acting like it and taking responsibility, which we are insuring they never do by saying "oh things like this are a tragedy and just happen..." They dont 'just happen' - so why are we lying to ourselves and these kids? And why are we stunting their social development by telling them that? To spare their feelings? What happens the next time when it IS a tragedy because they made a stupid choice and it injures an innocent.
Thank G-d I dont feel bad - because if I did it would be because there was some innocent bystander who was on the sidewalk or in the vicinity who was injured/killed by the wreck - THEM I would feel bad for. Kids who make stupid choices - whether its how they're driving or by getting into a car with an unsafe driver (in ANY fashion - even if its just because they're horsing around and are unfocused and an ass let alone a drunk one) I dont feel bad for.
So, yeah, not so much on the 'feeling bad' on this side of the country either.
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From: jlindquist |
Date:
April 14th, 2008 05:21 am (UTC)
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Re: The Accident
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Fuck you your an ass
Ah. Failing English, are we?
you know what its like to be young
Yup. Fortunately, I wasn't also stupid.
those are my friends
& many other peoples friend
No doubt. My sympathies. This isn't something I'd wish on anyone. It does suck to be where you are right now. But tell me, does it suck more knowing that it was preventable? Or do you not care?
you can rot in hell for saying that
Hey, next time, leave a street address. I'll send you some Kleenex.
let it be known that you are a fucked up person!
That's old, old news, pal.
peace
*laugh* Now that's comedy! Condemn someone to hell, and then wish them peace. Lousy grammar and comprehension, all in one package! How convenient!
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From: hayley76 |
Date:
April 14th, 2008 03:59 pm (UTC)
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Re: The Accident
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Lousy grammar and comprehension, all in one package! How convenient! DUH! What did you expect? The next Hemmingway? I mean, he IS sitting here condeming US ("adults") for being rational and expecting responsibility... come on... Guaranteed we're not talking a Rhodes scholar here. [sarcasm/poor grammar/spelling] To the original commenter of this thread (and all others who are screaming 'fuck off'): "Partie on d00dz! Rage agnst the man!!" [/end] Get a grip. They're your friends. You're upset - Noted and logged. We get it - truly we do! BUT, if you're *SO* pissed off, then I bet YOU will make better choices, right? And you'll make sure you keep your OTHER friends from making dumbass choices, right? You'll stop them from getting into cars when they shouldn't? You'll take keys? You'll call a cab? OH wait, no, I'm sure that in a few weeks (if that) you'll all be in a situation where you can either - "go with the crowd" or "be responsible" - and, judging strictly on your above post, I'd have to guess you'll pick what's behind door A because, wel, they ARE your friends. G-d help you. Oh, yeah. and... peace be with ya.
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