July 27th, 2007

Enterprise Bridge

Attention Television People:

I'm sitting in the Eureka panel in 6CDEF, waiting for the Lost Tales Of Babylon 5 panel to begin at 6:00. Their executive producer just pleaded with the crowd to stop TiVo'ing their show and watch it live, and to encourage others to do so. Why? Because time-shifted viewers don't count in the ratings.

I have a very simple reply to that: Fuck you.

The DVR is a wonderfully liberating invention, enabling an order of magnitude more freedom and flexibility into my life. I get to enjoy more programming, enjoy it more deeply, and share it thanks to that device. That I don't count in the ratings is not my problem. But it's a problem that can be fixed. Start beating the shit out of the relevant network executives until they see reality. Seriously. Take pipes and batons and bats to them, make them ooze blood and pus and semen out their original and newly-created orifices until they find reality and fix their shit. You don't get to tell me to put away my nice new toys just because they inconvenience you. Should I buy a buggy whip to keep in the trunk of my car?

Understand this: I quit watching E.R. before its writing became irrevocably lame. I quit watching it when NBC fucked with its published schedule so that it conflicted with C.S.I. and forced my TiVo to choose between the two. If you get canceled because you can't accomodate your viewers, I'll watch shows made by people who can. This is not my problem. (Though this shouldn't be your problem, either.) So don't put the responsibility for solving it on me.