August 8th, 2006

Enterprise Bridge

Things that don't suck

By and large, Star Trek: Enterprise sucked. I liked the cast, they did a decent job on sets and effects, but Jesus H. Gob-Dancing Christ, did the writing ever choke on a bucket of cocks. Of course, many people didn't get to experience that disappointment, because the opening credits drove them to suicide first. The imagery was actually all right. If you're doing a show that's set in the history of what's aired before, it fits well to show even earlier history to open with. But God almight, that song...

The epitaph for Enterprise is, "Too Little, Too Late". I saw three of the last four episodes, and was actually quite impressed. If the show had been that good from the start, I would have watched. I never caught their mirror-universe episodes they did, but I had heard some good reviews of them as well. Even better--they changed the opening credits for just those episodes. And the music rules. Someone did the right thing and edited the normal credits video together with the mirror-credits music. The end result is just right.

Apparently, Paramount also assembled them using the music from one of the later movies (Generations?) and it works really well too.

By the way, I'm not looking forward to the new film that's in the works. Leave it on the shelf for another five or ten years. Let that well refill. We neither need to see Matt Damon trying to out-Shatner Shatner, nor not-Shatner Shatner.
Enterprise Bridge

Some things finally happen

I was listening to Dave, Shelly, and Chainsaw this morning (KGB-FM). A show standard is that listeners will call in to report what they call an ASNR--Acute Spontaneous Nasal Reflux. It's their name for when you laugh at something they said, and shoot whatever you're drinking out your nose. Given their morning drive slot, the target is often steering wheels and breakfasts.

So today, a woman calls in with an ASNR. As always, they ask what she expelled. "Man chowder," she says. Yes, the radio was on while she was giving her boyfriend a blowjob, and somebody's wisecrack came at just the wrong moment. I nearly had to pull over, it had me laughing so hard, as it recalled this conversation on IRC seven years ago.